Wrong T-Shirt To Meet Clinton
In Charleston, West Virginia, Doris Smith went downtown early Monday wearing her Barack Obama t-shirt with hopes of getting tickets to the Obama rally. Advance seats were sold out so her only option was to stand in line for up two hours or more and hope for the best. Disappointed, she decided instead to go for breakfast at Tudor's Biscuit World -- and walked right into Hillary Rodham Clinton! Clinton was at a gathering of mostly elderly people who had come for a campaign stop. Embarrassed Doris said, "Oh, I didn't want to do this." But both ladies made the best of the situation and Clinton shook her hand as Doris told her that getting a Democrat in the White House was her first priority. Clinton agreed and said, "It's been too long since we have." (myway.com)

Someone Call Dr. Jones!
In Claremont, California, they could use the help of Indiana Jones. A large crystal skull similar to those at the center of the upcoming Harrison Ford movie was stolen from a New Age store, puzzling employees in part because of the laid-back nature of shop regulars. Persis Newland, owner of Kindred Spirits said, "We have zero shoplifting in here, and I have no idea why anyone would take something as lovely as that." The skull, named Solar Ray by owner Don Marr, had been on loan at Kindred Spirits for about four months and was considered one of the shop's prized objects. Kristen Nestor, who supervises the store's weekly crystal-reading classes said she believes the skull is some 500-years-old. Police believe the focus on crystal skulls in the new movie may have prompted the theft. So far they have no leads. (myway.com)

Assault With Deadly M&M's!
In Des Moines, Iowa, college student Sean McGuire was arrested at a convenience store and found himself charged with assaulting an officer with a curious choice of weapons: M&Ms. Sean's friend was being questioned by the officer regarding a hit and run accident when a Drake University security guard noticed the colored candies falling on the ground around the officer. When the officer turned around, an M&M hit his shoulder. Sean said he threw the candy because he was "sticking up for his friend," who apparently was the man suspected in the accident. Boy that's showing 'em Sean. You are a really big man! (myway.com)

Man Wins Back His Guinness Book Title!
In Naperville, Illinois, George Hood did exactly what he set out to do -- reclaim the Guinness world record for time spent on a stationary bicycle. It's not official yet but organizers say he spent about 177 hours over eight days riding a spinning bike at a suburban YMCA. He rode the equivalent of 2,016 miles, burned more than 46,000 calories and never slept for more than 12 minutes at a time. The retired Drug Enforcement Agency investigator from Aurora began his ride on May 5 and finished early Monday. He had held the record until last summer after spending 111 hours, 11 minutes and 11 seconds on a bike but that record was broken by another cyclist from Tasmania. (myway.com)

May I Come Back To Jail Please!
In Great Britain, 42-year-old Wesley Crawford managed to escape from an open jail, but returned three days later saying life was easier in prison! A prison spokesperson said, "We couldn't believe it. To come knocking on the door and asking to be taken back in is amazing." Wes said life is indeed better, even though he has now been sent to a closed prison. He was sentenced to 12 years at the Sudbury open prison for robbery and it does sound like life there was pretty good. He got three meals a day with a choice of menus, plus a TV in his room which was never locked. There also a game room with pool and ping pong tables and a gym. A spokesman for the Prison Service said, "Anyone who absconds from an open prison is returned to closed conditions on recapture." (Ananova)

Do Cows Have Nine Lives?
In Switzerland, a cow was left amazingly unhurt after a head-on collision with a car. The car didn't fare as well and was totaled. The cow rolled onto the hood of the car and was catapulted over the roof but then immediately got to its feet. Driver Felix Reimann was left with cuts and bruises after the accident on a country road. A vet called to the scene said the cow was completely unharmed, and took it back to its owner. Felix said, "I couldn't believe it when I saw it just standing there and looking at me afterwards. I thought it should have been dead. Instead it just mooed at me." (Ananova)

Fly Jet Blue: We Have a Toilet Seat Ready For You
Gokhan Mutlu of Manhattan is suing JetBlue Airways Corp. for more than $2 million because he says a pilot made him give up his seat to a flight attendant and sit on the toilet for more than three hours on a flight from California. He claims the pilot told him to "go 'hang out' in the bathroom" about 90 minutes into the San Diego to New York flight because the flight attendant complained that the "jump seat" she was assigned was uncomfortable. Gokhan was traveling on a "buddy pass," a standby travel voucher that JetBlue employees give to friends. When he expressed reluctance to go sit in the bathroom, the pilot allegedly told him that "he was the pilot, that this was his plane, under his command that Gorkhan should be grateful for being on board." (CBS News)

According to the latest Harris Poll, the top mom is June Cleaver from the 1950s sitcom "Leave It to Beaver." The top 10 TV moms we wish we had when growing up:

1. June Cleaver, "Leave It to Beaver"
2. Claire Huxtable, "The Cosby Show"
3. Carol Brady, "The Brady Bunch"
4. Marion Cunningham, "Happy Days"
5. Donna Stone, "The Donna Reed Show"
6. Harriet Nelson, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"
7. Lucy Ricardo, "I Love Lucy"
8. Roseanne Connor, "Rosanne"
9. Lorelei Gilmore of "Gilmore Girls" (tied at #8)
10. Marge Simpson, "The Simpsons"

(from Men's Health)

• 25% of average guy's next vacation will be at a national park.

• 34% of men will make this a "mancation."

• 41% of men still haven't told their significant others what happened on their last buddy trip.

• 50% of women say outdoor sports can help couples bond.

• 48% of men say they'd "love" a bass pond in their backyard.

• 29% of men say they'd "love" a fire pit in their backyard.

• 10% of men love camping because it makes them feel like a kid again.

• 48% of men took the Boy Scout oath as a kid.

• 22% of men don't remember a single Scout skill.

• 67% of men would like to hike all 2,175 miles of the Appalachian Trail.

• 7 and a half miles is the farthest distance the average guy has ever hiked in one clip.

• 32% of men rock climb.

• 30% of men will stick to scaling artificial walls.

• 193 million acres are managed by the USDA Forest Service.

• 17,645 toilets are interspersed among the national parks trees.

           

                      Kris St. James

Travel back in time with Snow White in this classic fable now set in the strange and magical land of the disco-crazed 1970s.Snow White hasn’t had it easy. She was orphaned at an early age, adopted by a group of Tibetan monks, and started college when she was only twelve years old. Now, at seventeen, she has her Ph.D. and has recently discovered a wealthy great-great-great-uncle, the railroad tycoon Douglas Digger. Unfortunately, soon after she meets her only living relative, he dies in a freak disco-dancing accident, leaving her his many assets – including the disco he died in. This doesn’t make Douglas’ trophy wife very happy – and Lola Golda-Digger doesn’t just get angry, she gets even.When Lola’s murder attempt on Snow White goes awry, Snow White ends up in the basement of her disco with the seven Disco Dwarves – Funky, Loopy, Libby, Gimmee, Grubby, Jimmy, and Nixon. Bound to the disco by a curse, the Disco Dwarves spend their lives providing the disco’s music. They hail Snow White as the chosen one, come to deliver them from their labors, and swear to help her in any way they can. Will Snow White fulfill her promise as the chosen one, or will Lola manage to murder her step-great-great-great-niece and take the disco as her own?